Yes a law banning picnic tables. Privately owned and public. Effective immediately. With existing stock to be disposed of through inter-county auction and manually pushing them just over municipal borders, then looking in the opposite direction or otherwise pretending they do not exist. This is how we choose to live our lives. This is how we exert control. We are subjugated and must subjugate in turn. How else to maintain the illusion of freedom? Of autonomy from our masters? Something has to keep us going. The thrill of outlawing gay marriage has worn off. We’re forced, due to lack of focus, to contend with the reality that dogs, through simple ignorance, lead richer lives than us, their supposed masters. They will never know how foolish they are and thus are free. We, ultimately, know we are doomed.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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