Nightcap 06/03/12

Utica Tomagotchi is now speaking. He’s speaking to an audience of one: You. Utica has a message for you. It concerns the assassination of your household appliances. He’s giving you an excuse to use your training. He reminds you to keep emotion out of It. This is a practical matter. If you want to move forward in life, you’ll have to do it without a toaster oven. You don’t need the portable foot bath pan where you’re going. (He says you’re going to Switzerland, but that’s irrelevant for our purposes.)

Utica explains that without anyone else in the house, no one need find out. You’ll live as a Shaker from now on, but that’s OK. It’s what you want, right? The indulgence of convenience keeps you soft. One bullet through the automatic butter warmer will make you strong.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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