The key to understanding the lunacy of the American workplace is that randomly throughout the day, large quantities of live snakes are dumped into the offices, cubicles and work areas. Workers and customers alike are left to deal with the chaos using push brooms and coffee creamer. The delivery system was created by some of the super villains that started PayPal. Closed circuit television systems allow bosses to evaluate worker ability and composure.
Most of these reports go unread at this point, though, as the majority of the Managerial class in America long since turned to stone. More than likely a gypsy’s curse. Midnight janitorial crews have since faced the frozen execs towards blank walls.
In other words: No one’s watching.
It’s just you and the snakes.