Nightcap 05/09/12

In America you can do many things with an illegally-obtained automobile. You can jump it over a group of scientists busy mapping the cartoon genome. You can jump it over three of the nine Supreme Court justices. You can jump your stolen car over a marching band’s brass and percussion sections.

You can even jump it over the Fortune 500 CEO of your choice provided he’s been driven mad by money fumes and doesn’t mind it when you call him ‘Slim’.

You can even become President and jump it over the White House, where it will be immediately neutralized by secret service sharp shooters on the roof, who, despite their well intentions, somehow missed the official announcement of your jump and mistook you for an angry turtle.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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