Migueltio says: “I want to make sure you take advantage of these fantastic prices on single and package set Class B fireworks! Completely legal and a real treat for Mom! My favorite’s your favorite! The warehouse is full! You’d be doing us a favor!”

“And don’t forget your coupon pack! I’ll be making pancakes for the next 14 hours! Come around back and I’ll autograph it for you!”

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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