Old Man Kraatz had his two-headed dog out for a walk this fine Holy Saturday. He had it wearing the little boots again. Each boot jingling and jangling, bright red as the devil.
Kraatz drives that two-headed dog over to town and forces it to look at itself in the mirrored storefront windows. That dog doesn’t like that. It starts going wild. Barking and carrying on. Kraatz stands there smiling and nodding at everyone. He’s forced every animal he’s had to confront its existence dead on and none of them enjoy it.
“Kids love this!” Kraatz cries out to everyone and no one. “They’re offa school now and they love a good show! Come on everybody! I’m giving away boots tomorra!”
He never gives away any boots.