Morning Constitutional 10/03/11

Why does everyone like parsley? I don’t like parsley. It just lays there getting in the way.

They say it makes your plate pretty. I don’t need a pretty plate. I need a plate with little sections that doesn’t let the food mix and mingle. A plate that maybe has little tin covers over the sections so that your neighbor can’t see what you’re eating. People see what you’re eating and they start to resent you. Resent your taste.

Little tin covers also protect your food from birds of prey that might be circling. They circle me, all the time. They circle a lot of people. A body can’t enjoy himself surrounded by birds. What kind of person enjoys giving a stool sample while being watched by birds from other countries. Countries where the food is all gray and mashed up in one big heap on a plate without a lid.

Such countries can’t even afford parsley. They just hold you down and drop food on your face. Nothing pretty about that.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

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