As we turn in tonight, let us say a prayer for the bowlers.
LORD let their strikes be strong and regular. And accompanied by animations of talking fish or clip art of smiling mobsters.
Let their approach be free of trepidation. And their knees be strong.
Let their gloves be not mocked.
And let not the gutter plague them.
Let them fear not, others judgement of their shoes.
LORD, let our bowlers’ backs not ache, but if they must let their back braces be strong and without odor.
Let their chairs be plastic and discolored.
Let Time, the most horrible of all Your wonderful creations, melt away so that they might exist alone with ball and pin and salted hot dog.
AND FINALLY LORD, Let the bowlers’ league association offer consolation prizes of discounted oil change vouchers to those teams not ranking come spring.