MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL 09/12/11

The community is not happy with my latest editorial on carpet patterns. I’m against people installing such in their house unless I’m allowed to choose the pattern. Otherwise they should just stick with solid colors or completely transparent flooring which allows (rightly) for little privacy in the level below.

As a sign of their discomfort with my proposal, one of them has defaced my property with the aid of a liquid cement gun, encasing the entire house in a thick, rapidly drying shell. The windows, doors, vents and mail slot are completely blocked.

Though a crack in the bathroom window I’ve used a screw driver to write my name in the cement. No matter what happens, future generations will know that “Christopher Rodrigo Weagel” was not cowed by the mob.

I was considering adding the date but have decided praying to Superman a better use of remaining oxygen.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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