Officials dredged the remains of Haircut Dave out of canal 18 this weekend. He was last seen among the living back in June.

Police have ruled his death a suicide, but we all know better. Haircut Dave was silenced by rogue elements of the intelligence community because the haircuts he gave – his art – revealed unspoken truths about the political decay of late-stage American Capitalism and made a person’s forehead look too big.

Papers say there won’t be a funeral.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

View all posts

Add comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *