One of the better common phrases here in America. Yet woefully unexplored.

This phrase is incredibly useful for summing up issues that, because of their complexity, intractability and often plain ugliness, cause concern and worry amongst a population that’s otherwise powerless to do anything about. The phrase puts the issue to rest and just lets us get on with repairing our damaged lives.

I did some research and actually found out what our local IT truly IS.
Turns out IT is the fact that, in a recent frenzy, our fair town elected a giant sea lion as mayor. A filthy, stinking, mini-vanned-sized sea lion. Like out of the movies!

And is it ever mean! Snarling and spitting and crashing around. The damn thing crushed three kindergartners during a recent Back to School assembly.

I’m certain it’s rabid.

But, so long as the city clerk manages to dress the monster in the clothing of men and it keeps its pledge of a balanced budget, we’re helpless against it. The town charter is very clear on this. To paraphrase the founders, “the office of Mayor may be held by any human or marine animal over 100lbs that receives 50% +1 of the vote each year.”

What can we do? The people of this town are well accustomed to “looking the other way” if you know what I mean. Just add this to the list. I may not approve of the fire department spending half its day hosing down the mayor or the recent arrests of our French-Canadian whaling population. Politics is a winner-take-all system. And I thank God for it.


Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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