It was just brought to my attention that I am in need of stronger, thicker lashes. Eyelashes. Which I thought I had removed by lasers last year but... They grow back in little, ratty nubs. Anyway, I need the stronger lashes to qualify for the Olympic diving trials. Always something.

It was just brought to my attention that I am in need of stronger, thicker lashes.

Eyelashes.

Which I thought I had removed by lasers last year but…

They grow back in little, ratty nubs.

Anyway, I need the stronger lashes to qualify for the Olympic diving trials. Always something.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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  • They do sell fake lashes, you know. With waterproof glue so that they’ll never come off. And then, if you keep them on too long, little mice will grow in between the continuously growing lashes. If you’re lucky, they’ll let you keep your nose hairs.