I saw a bald man walking along the edge of the road this morning. He was carrying a sign. It read “PROUD VEGAN” printed in green ink.

He was walking with purpose. But what purpose?

Was he just pre-emptively letting the world know his dietary concerns in case someone randomly invited him to dinner? Was it a warning not to get too close? The road was largely residential and without much traffic this time of day. Was he, ultimately, just trying to convince himself? Maybe he simply found the sign in his yard and his elbow and shoulder locked up.

As soon as I got back home I called the police.

They reminded me that they are no longer accepting reports from this number.


About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

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