Smiling Nitwits are my niche specialty in the Stock Photography World. I handle costuming, location scouting, scenario development and talent-prodding. I photograph them using all digital equipment that requires little touch-up after the fact. These photos are used on everything from Banking websites to Sweatshirts for the infirm.

My bestsellers are photos of happy-go-lucky dimwits enjoying beverages with straws. Second to those are brainless shits grilling meats in backyards. Surprisingly, shirtless men covered in welts surrounded by dogs come in third.

I don’t question any of it. Stock Photography creation is an amoral pursuit. You do it and it is done. Your work may be used to promote a charity or a credit scam. It is not your concern or worry.

Next week I take the smiling nitwits to a water park. And after that I’ll take a few thousand photos of morons eating pork rinds at church fairs.

Victimless Paparazzi.


About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

One Response to “MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL 08/02/11”

  1. Maddie Seidel 08/02/11 at 8:43 am #

    … Where do you sell these photographs? Could we find them in magazines?

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