And so the vice gets tighter every day. No matter what you do it’s never enough.
Work all day painting dogs to look like ponies and the next day they want you to paint ’em to look like slightly meaner ponies.
Why? Ponies is mean enough – everybody knows that! They’ll bite right through your hand just to boost their terrible little egos.
And why do I get paid more for painting dogs to look like anything than I do for my given trade and talent of counting cars that go through the carwash from a vantage point that’s technically public property yet still requires the use of binoculars and speed dial to ring up said car wash only to hang up without saying a word three or four times a day?
They don’t care about a man’s passion of counting things that ain’t his. They just want these dogs painted. Why last week they said I had to start paying for my own yellow paint cause they claim they ain’t never seen a dog painting like a pony that was ever really yellow to begin with.
WELL THE DOGS LIKE THE YELLOW PAINT CAUSE I WHISPER IN THEY EARS THAT IT TASTES LIKE BANANAS.
Dog ain’t a dog if’n it don’t like banana fruit.
And now the state says I got to be certified to paint animals out behind my own car shed. $45 every quarter. Plus testing costs.
A dog ain’t even an animal. Why a dog can be senator out in Wyoming where they respect a man’s freedom, yes sir.
Never enough, never enough. Always more, Always more. Goddamn it.