We find ourselves in an intense period of transition. The old ways of eating sand and blacking out in front of a Magnum PI marathon are crumbling away. Instead our free hours are spent staring at sections of dirt, a foot square, hoping desperately for meaning and guidance to burrow up and sprout wings and fly into our ears and maybe nose. While we study these patches of dirt, we are fed lemon syrup and marzipan fruits (and sometimes babies, see figure 2 below). Our teeth rot but our guts grow strong from the chaffing. Our intestines respond to such abuse is instructive. We must be flexible. We must adapt to these new ways without fear or unneeded anxiety. In the end your face will melt off and it won't matter what you did with your precious free time. You will be judged a hero for your commitment and steadfastness and unwillingness to blink in the face of force Dirt Study.

We find ourselves in an intense period of transition. The old ways of eating sand and blacking out in front of a Magnum PI marathon are crumbling away.

Instead our free hours are spent staring at sections of dirt, a foot square, hoping desperately for meaning and guidance to burrow up and sprout wings and fly into our ears and maybe nose.

While we study these patches of dirt, we are fed lemon syrup and marzipan fruits (and sometimes babies, see figure 2 below). Our teeth rot but our guts grow strong from the chaffing.

Our intestines respond to such abuse is instructive. We must be flexible. We must adapt to these new ways without fear or unneeded anxiety. In the end your face will melt off and it won’t matter what you did with your precious free time. You will be judged a hero for your commitment and steadfastness and unwillingness to blink in the face of force Dirt Study.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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