Sometime during the night a baby deer crawled up into bed with me. It’s still sleeping against my legs. I don’t see any broken glass so it must’ve found the emergency key I keep hidden in the yard and let itself in.

If I can move quick enough, I’ll trap it here and dress it up like a human (I keep a spare set of deer-sized clothes in the nightstand). Then I’ll raise it as my new son, Adolpho.

He’ll be my only heir and will inherit everything. So don’t treat him like a freak.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

One Response to “MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL 07/20/11”

  1. Maddie Seidel 07/20/11 at 9:02 am #

    Don’t let the neighbors know there’s a deer in the neighborhood. There’s a conspiracy against half-human pets, and deer-sons are disliked and feared due to their likeness to such creatures.

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