MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL 07/19/11

Stunning advances in sticker technology kept me awake most of the night. I was poring over manuals, reading online forum discussions, watching countless tutorial videos, all to get my head around these new developments.

The aspect about these new sticker sheets I can’t understand though, is the rationale behind requiring each and every sheet of stickers – regardless of theme or subject matter – to include one sticker depicting a diseased digestive organ.

It can be photographic (post-autopsy or during surgery) or illustrated in a matching style as the rest of the sheet. The organ can be human or animal. It may also be presented pickled in a jar or dripping and sagging on an open air slab.

The organ’s affliction requirement is also wide open allowing everything from cancers to alcoholic abuse to visual evidence of simple punching.

Although it’s not immediately clear as to why this measure was adopted, I expect it implemented very soon as the fines for lack of compliance are quite steep.

Thus, come February, I fully expect to purchase several cherub-themed sheets each including a failing liver or horse fly-covered kidney sticker.

As you might imagine, these developments have significantly impacted the launch of my own Catholic Martyr sticker line and I have thus suspended its Kickstarter profile.

My apologies, but no refunds.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

One Response to “MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL 07/19/11”

  1. Maddie Seidel 07/19/11 at 9:43 am #

    This post has nothing to do with coat hanger interviews.

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