A fun activity during long, one-sided conversations is to stare intently at your co-worker’s, family member’s or friend’s head and imagine what is going on inside there, just behind the skull.

For those with weak vision having trouble penetrating their subject’s head, here are a few common scenarios:

A nervous supervisor may have spurring away in her head a complex Vending Machine mechanism that’s grinding away faster and faster simply because a bag of Andy Capp Hot Fries is caught against the front glass, jamming the dispenser screw and preventing a money transaction from completing.

You may want to check if someone has stuck some Canadian coins in her ear.

An hysterical co-worker, if looked at in the right light, might reveal that their cranium is occupied by a dangerously overcrowded pigeon-coup, packed with excitable, simple-minded birds. The slightest inconvenience can send these creatures into a violent, fluttering rage. The combined activity of which is enough to lift the metal cage a few feet off the ground before crashing it back to earth, shattering concentration and the ability of the sufferer to balance a check book.

Offer this man a bag of stale popcorn then make your escape.

A shiftless, whining cousin may, upon closer inspection, be caught in a cramped, filthy, disorganized attic of his own mind desperately searching a VCR instruction manual for a non-existant english section.

Direct this individual over the nearest trap door and save yourself a place setting at the next holiday get together.

Even the simplest of creatures has the ability to not only look back into your mind but also take control of your person and use your human abilities for their own purposes. Remember, they have no concept of right and wrong. Do not disregard this warning.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

One Response to “FUN ACTIVITY”

  1. Maddie Seidel 07/15/11 at 4:28 pm #

    Well, I wish you would’ve told us about the animal thing BEFORE my brother went ahead and swapped minds with a chicken! Now all he does is cluck and squaggle! I have a feeling that while the chicken was smart enough to reverse the process and take control of my brother, he was not smart enough to use this newfound power of opposable thumbs for his own benefit. My brother is beginning to get a dent in his head from his newfound, preferred dinning method.

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