I am fully trained and authorized to place cats neatly on shelves. I put them, without the aid of gloves or sedation, into straight, uniform lines on wall shelves and bookcases. Cats that cannot stand one another stand side by side in evenly spaced rows without discomfort or strain. My services are in high demand from owners and breeders alike. And now I'm ready to share my secrets with you.

I am fully trained and authorized to place cats neatly on shelves.

I put them, without the aid of gloves or sedation, into straight, uniform lines on wall shelves and bookcases. Cats that cannot stand one another stand side by side in evenly spaced rows without discomfort or strain. My services are in high demand from owners and breeders alike.

And now I’m ready to share my secrets with you.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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