NIGHTCAP 07/06/11

It’s always a thrill to burn trash. Your trash, your neighbor’s trash. Stuff your neighbor owns that he doesn’t yet know is trash.

Tools and rakes he’s using right now, in his hand this very moment. FWOOSH! Burn it all!

It’s cleansing. Like dumping poison into a beautiful star. All the bad memories, all the feelings of inadequacy – it all returns to the universe – primal elements.

Same thing with forest fires you set when you’re bored. Especially after you’ve piled mountains of used tires out near the mineral springs. The fire makes it all go away. And with such little effort. Just boom! Nothing but the fresh smell of pine chips, slowly roasting their way back to hell.

And birds. If only there were a way to get birds to burst into flame in mid air. Maybe some kind of laser or microwave. Something you could control with your brain. And then blame on the dog.

Nature’s recycling program, burning trash including industrial chemicals. Yes sir.


About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

One Response to “NIGHTCAP 07/06/11”

  1. Maddie Seidel 07/06/11 at 8:43 pm #

    Burning trash and using it to cook a plentiful meal.

Leave a Reply