You’re saying I get to design my own board game?
I without the pretty thumbs?
I can include as many dice as I want? Even 7? So that each player has to roll for the player seated to her left if they wish to advance?
What if I were to include biting as part of normal gameplay?
Would it be acceptable for the game board itself to be split down the middle – one side lavishly appointed, with Pop-Up, Real Plastic Villages and Forests with lighted Elf Towns and a Water Wheel and Pop-o-Matic Everything all done in silver – while the other side is left gray and flat and dryer than a Mid-Century Church Paper?
And what if I demanded that all commercials for my board game featured children whose mouths were stuffed full of unhealthy marshmallows so that they had to deliver their (many) lines through a thick fog of foam and spit and mess and fluff – And still sound like they’re having the time of their life?
And if this game of mine, whose name would be written in full Arabic as a direct challenge to the bigotry and hatred of southern shop-keeps everywhere, were to cost $40 Million dollars?
Why haven’t you answered me, Charles? Always looking out that window? What do you see there? Your childhood? It’s gone away, Charles. It’s gone away forever.