Archive - July 2011

MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL 07/29/11

Finally got the decorative plate wall shelves installed inside the van. I had to special order the arm anchors from Taiwan as the van doesn't have stud equivalents. But they're up now, each one lined with no-slip rubber lining pads. I will use a combination of those and special magnets to hold the plates upright during sharp turns.

As for plate order, I've got it down to this:

Kitty Plate, Doggie Plate, Kitty Plate, Doggie Plate, Kitty Plate, Disney Plate, Doggie Plate, Sad Clown Plate, Kitty Plate, Doggie Plate, Kitty Plate, Ronald Reagan Age 24 Plate, Kitty Plate, Ronald Reagan Age 45 Plate, Disney Plate, Doggie Plate, Kitty Plate, Kitty Plate.

Then on the passenger side...

NIGHTCAP 07/25/11

AS PROMISED: AN INSIDE LOOK AT MY MAIL-ORDER ROAST BEEF SANDWICH COMPANY. Of all my great ideas, this one's the best. By far the most profitable and most pa-leasing to people of all walks and all types. I needed to justify my monthly expense of renting a Medium-Sized Post Office box at my local USPS branch. The postal staff also needed justification for daily extended lobby visits and sometimes naps. AND I LOVE ROAST BEFFED SANDWICHES. The concept is simple, as they say. For a mere $14.95+postage, you can send me your best roast beef sandwich - homemade, store bought or stolen does not matter - and I will rate it and judge it and devour it thusly. I will place food sent to me from a stranger into my stomach and describe in writing how it makes me feel. I will do this in front of people...