The circus is no longer accepting applications. The country has enough file clerks. Playing a dead body in one of those large disaster scenes just doesn’t pay enough. The only calling left is a higher calling.
When you become a priest, the Vatican sends you a pair of those glasses that let you see into men’s souls and you’re legally allowed to drink blood in public. Your business card gets a rarely used prefix. Sure you only get paid in little sticks and pebbles but you never have to fear snakes again.
All in all a good deal for all parties. You were going to be locked up eventually anyway, might as well be in bondage to the Lord.