Rough night. Woke up covered in Night Leeches. They swarm this time of year. The leeches attach themselves to any bare skin but they prefer the back of the neck, if available. Through the night they suck out good dreams and leave your mind filled with thoughts of sour janitor lockers and unturned welcome mats.

But they do have medical applications. I understand Night Leeches are used extensively in the treatment of severe mental psychosis and rampant limb twitching. So I collected them in a jar, put in a few childhood photos for them to feed on and set them on the window sill.

Selling the Night Leeches internationally online, I’d make a lot of money if they weren’t figments of my imagination.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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  • Interesting… they usually leave my mind filled with images of empty ketchup bottles (the horror…).