I was there the day the county dumped all the arcade games into the lake. Let it be known. I can tell it cause I saw it. We spent all friday night driving throughout Macomb County, going to bars and pizza holes and party shops and the back alleys of closed down banks. We took up every single video arcade game in an upright cabinet, a table top unit and even those electronic dart boards. Just ripped them out of the walls.

We left the claw games. The FEMA men gave no explanation on those.

Then we pushed them onto this huge barge. Lined them up. And before pushing off, we powered up all these gazzoline generators. At least 50 of them. Lined them up near the back. And then they had us plug in all these video games. We looked like a floating goddamn carnival.

After about 18 minutes travel I could feel the barge stop. Then they ordered us to start pushing. One after the other we heaved these arcade games over the side. Blipping and blooping, lights flashing, everything. Right inta the water. WHAMMO.

One guy was playing with the electric bowling game as it went right over the edge. We were told it didn’t happen. Just forget what we saw. I don’t know if he had a family or what but I wasn’t gonna fight about it.

When it was over we got a certificate for a Ham Breakfast at the Kappas Cafe Diner and told not to speak about any of it for ten years. Today is ten years plus one day.

After that I stopped voting. I saw too much.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

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