Name your favorite house plant Howard and keep it separate from the other plants.
Keep the name to yourself. When your family asks why you’re out of work and why you arrange your plants this way, say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I will now go sit in the attic.”
The next time you have visitors, hang up a sheet hiding the plants. Distract your company with the pool table in the basement.
Under no circumstances tell them the names you’ve given to the furniture.
Remain calm. Await further instruction.