Found on the back porch tonight, wrapped in plastic, with no return address save for thirteen smiley face stickers: 3 Months of Prescription Drugs. Mostly kidney pills. Multiple bottles and sizes. Pharmacy labels scraped off by fingernail. No note, no dosage chart. Somewhere someone is hacking up gray mess and peeing polka dots.
Not wanting to directly taint the town’s water supply, I plan on smuggling them into the local petting zoo and feeding them to the goats. It will require many trips, spread out over months.
I plan buying an annual membership to the town’s petting zoo.
There, I feel much better.