Morning Constitutional 05/03/11

That great idea you’ve read so much about in the church papers, Floating Salad Bars? It’s all come asunder. It was announced this morning by the company, Innovative Initiatives, that they were shutting down for good after the fifth Floating Salad bar in a month had caught fire and injured three vacationers in Montana.

This particular Floating Salad Bar was in use in an indoor swimming pool at the Lucky Shoe Holiday Inn hotel and like the others had constant problems from the beginning. Aside from the usual concerns over keeping the crutons dry, the hotel staff could never get buoyancy issues resolved involving the balance of the Hot Soup end and the fresh plates end and had suffered multiple capsize events prior to Saturday’s fire.

The burns suffered by Pastor Wilcox, his wife Jane-Ann, and Iowan locksmith Roger Ameson were not life-threatening. It is believed the fire began in the black olive well and spread to the cottage cheese and sliced peaches before engulfing the entire barge shortly before its break up and sinking.

The goal of bringing fresh, affordable salads and gelatin desserts to the world’s swimmers and Mermaid People remains outside of humanity’s grasp.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

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