Morning Constitutional 04/16/11

They say he spoke Dinosaur.

They say he fell asleep falling down the stairs.

They say his heart was 15% bigger than a bison of comparable weight.

They say he could lift entire municipalities, shake out all the bad and leave the good feeling better about being good.

They say he breathed more oxygen than was necessary but he planned on returning it one day, in little glass bottles labeled with pen.

They say he didn’t like numbers, didn’t trust their many curves.

They say he once spoke to a river, learned its secrets.

They say he admired bricks because they were pure.

They say his friendship brought many rewards, chief among them access to a vast DVD collection including all nine seasons of Dallas and his discretion with your peculiar tastes.

They say he put gravy on his cereal.

V says, “The truth is, I’m actually a Blast Furnace.”

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About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

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