Who isn’t terrified of Oprah Winfrey at this point? A human volcano that gives as often as she takes. First Borns, too. None of this business with goats. I hear she’s equipped with lasers. I hear all kinds of things! Who knows what’s real? Oprah gives up sliced tomatoes? No sliced tomatoes in this town!
I’ll tell you this, I’ll tell you this: I keep all those little plastic margarine tubs, because you never know what she’s sending down next.
Oh my God. Move over, I need to sit down.