POST-BREAKFAST SIT BREAK


Calm down. Deep breaths. Don’t collapse. Not in front of the others. If they see the tremors it’s over.

Act like none of it affects you.

Your watch is really tight, really tight. God. Might lose the hand. I have to know what time it is. I have to. I spent a lot of money on this thing. The metal might give me a rash. It might-it’s cutting through the skin. It could get into the bloodstream. It’ll go straight to the liver. Got a weak liver. Just like Granddad. God what would he think of me now. This is his lineage? His heir? We can’t all be fighter pilots, Granddad. Heh, heh, heh. Some of us are allergic to clouds.

What? Is there- Is there someone in this closet? WHO IS IN THIS CLOSET!? I’LL REPORT YOU!

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

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