HOW TO GAUGE YOUR PERFORMANCE


If at any point during your speech a large portion of the audience doesn’t stand up and begin singing “God Bless America,” you’ve failed.

If multi-colored balloons fall all over the stage without warning, and you’re not running for office, you’ve succeeded.

If during your talk the entire audience simultaneously transforms into gigantic humanoid cat-people, consider upping your fee.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

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