The winter squash has arrived and it's mad. It's in a fury. There's no escape. Turn off the TV, pick up the chips. We've been laying here doing nothing for the last three days and now there's hell to pay. The squash is tired and up to its ass in home work and we're just sitting here doing nothing but dragging it down. We're in for it now, that's for sure. Quietly eject the Tom Sawyer tape and don't rewind it. We'll start it up from that spot later. Right when Tom goes into the cave. Just don't let the squash see it. ALRIGHT, EVERYONE OUTSIDE, LET'S MOVE CARS!

The winter squash has arrived and it’s mad. It’s in a fury. There’s no escape. Turn off the TV, pick up the chips. We’ve been laying here doing nothing for the last three days and now there’s hell to pay. The squash is tired and up to its ass in home work and we’re just sitting here doing nothing but dragging it down.

We’re in for it now, that’s for sure. Quietly eject the Tom Sawyer tape and don’t rewind it. We’ll start it up from that spot later. Right when Tom goes into the cave. Just don’t let the squash see it.

ALRIGHT, EVERYONE OUTSIDE, LET’S MOVE CARS!

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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