Author - Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

Nightcap 04/17/14

I can't explain. I don't think anyone could. I was compelled to own a flavor ice machine. A slush maker, in vulgar terms. I had to make flavored ice, to be drunk, to be enjoyed, to be envied and to be resented.
And I did.
Right here on this patio, Ron. I made the slush water here, with your wife. And your boy.
And I colored it orange.

Nightcap 04/03/14

Samson loved fish.
But he hated men.
He built this place to honor fish. And he painted it red.
But society hated Samson. And they hated fish.
Society painted this place gray.
And they painted Samson gray.
He just stood there while they worked on him with the fine tip brush.
And now…we don't have no fish.

Nightcap 03/23/14

If I can just breathe my poison into another entity, like, say, a small barrell or a three-legged squirrel, I can be free. I can resume my painting career.

Nightcap 03/18/14

If we could only create something that doesn't eat with its hands – but, elegantly eats with its hands.
“And can pilot a silver ship.”
Yes a ship. We'll get him a hat or…he'll have to walk straight.
“Yes, of course.”
…Help me from this pile.

Nightcap 03/16/14

The following taxonomies have been retired. All further such categorization is forbidden. words with too many double-Us world of tomorrow today wooden indian water skinks virgin megastore van wallace uncle bill’s pie platter tragedy in the heartland sound of people falling spirit water stock photography stomach exercises strategies for survival sugar packets summer curse super nintendo take that world technical catastrophe the way things are now the beauty of the world Too Many Similar Numbers sleepy town tragedy in the heartland separation anxiety severe emotional instability farm equipment gas station culture god’s mind goat goats goat fight griping kmetz lake bears large curd list humor lord god almighty lobster men Nonsense Party night leeches never show weakness nothing to joke about...